Do you feel like you have no sex drive after giving birth to your new baby? Are you afraid that there’s a connection between your breastfeeding and libido? These are just a few questions that cross the minds of new mommyz and couples when they’ve just had their new child.
Having a new baby definitely marks a brand new chapter in any woman’s life. Entering motherhood means you have to encounter so many changes with your body and your lifestyle. Especially in the first few months, a new mommyz life may seem like an endless loop of breastfeeding, changing, and cleaning up after your baby!
Sometimes, the overwhelming responsibilities that come with being a parent leave you to neglect a few important aspects of your home and family life. Working together with your partner is necessary to overcome the challenges that come with raising your newborn.
In A Nutshell…
- Yes, breastfeeding can lower your libido. The hormonal changes responsible for lactation contribute to a low sex drive.
- In addition, the stress levels, conditions of your breasts, and medications may also cause a lack of sex drive.
- It’s important for couples to learn how to communicate these sex issues and work their way around being affectionate with one another.
What Are The Effects of Breastfeeding on a Woman’s Body?
The Wonders of Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is widely promoted because it gives so many benefits. It does not only prove to be good for the baby’s health but as well as for the mom! In infants, breastfeeding is the best form of nutrition you can give your child as it has the complete nutrients and immunity boosting properties for them to grow healthily.
But moms also get plenty of benefits from breastfeeding! Among the following are:
- Weight loss. Breastfeeding is a calorie burning activity, which makes you lose the baby weight faster!
- Lower cancer risk. Research suggests that breastfeeding may help in lowering your risk for breast and ovarian cancers later in life.
- Heals your body. Hormones are released whenever your baby breastfeeds and these hormones help you get your reproductive organs back to the way they were!
A Notable Side Effect: Breastfeeding and Libido
When you’ve just given birth, all of your priorities are focused on taking care of your child. Intimacy and sex are often set aside. Although your low libido may be caused by all the adjustments and stress, it may actually be due to your breastfeeding as well.
Every mom has a different breastfeeding experience. Some feel totally fine, while some mothers might encounter a few side effects from nursing. The frustration and stress you may feel whenever you breastfeed your baby might lead to a drop in your libido. This explains why you’re losing interest or postponing sex following the birth of their child.
Story Time:
I experienced this right after having my two boys, and it lasted for quite a while. With Samuel, my first baby, I really did not even have time to be thinking about sex. Apart from the hormonal aspect, I just really felt run down, not like myself, and just trying to cope with the lifestyle changes of being a new mom.
However, after my second baby Isaac, I did miss being intimate but I still didn’t feel like it again. I started to do some research and that’s when I found out that what I was experiencing was completely normal. I was able to communicate with my husband and he too was feeling that gap between us. It made me sad to know he felt that way. He never said anything because he did not want to upset me. It would have been better if we had both talked about our feelings in the first place. In time, we found other ways to spend time together. I started getting my libido back, and things were great again.
Most moms or couples don’t tend to talk about this and would rather avoid the subject. But this is part of being a parent, and it’s really important to talk about these things in order to understand each other’s feelings.
Can Breastfeeding Actually Lower Your Sex Drive?
Truth is: YES, breastfeeding can affect your sex drive. A 2005 study examined the relationship between breastfeeding and sex, and it was reported that breastfeeding moms are the ones that often delay the resumption of sex after they have given birth.
However, you shouldn’t be too worried! Frankly, many women and couples face the same problem. It’s totally normal to lose interest in sex when your hormones are in haywire and there are so many things to think about with your baby after giving birth. It’s natural to notice peaks and falls in your libido around this period. Over time, your sex drive and intimacy will eventually fall back to how it was before.
Your Hormones During Breastfeeding
Hormonal changes are expected right after your delivery in order to promote lactation. They help you produce more milk and kickstart breastfeeding so that your baby can be nourished. However, the rise and fall in certain hormones can result in you having a lower sex drive. Here’s how:
The Rise in Prolactin and Oxytocin
Prolactin is the hormone responsible for milk production while oxytocin works in triggering your ejection reflex. When breastfeeding, these combined hormones can feel intensely pleasurable. Your emotional and physical need for intimacy may be met just from nursing your baby. That may explain why you aren’t craving your partner’s affection and desire as much.
The Fall in Estrogen and Progesterone
Post delivery, the levels of estrogen and progesterone in your body drop. This can cause you to produce less vaginal lubrication and may thin out your vaginal wall. No wonder why sex might be painful around this time. That alone can be enough of a reason why many women shy away from having sex after birth!
Other Possible Reasons for Low Libido
- Your all-nighters might be a cause. Being too tired and fatigue from nursing and taking care of your baby overnight can naturally be a reason why you’re not as interested in sex as before.
- Getting touched so much. With your baby cradled in your arms for a long period of time, you might be tired of being in skin contact with someone that you push away intimacy with your partner.
- Your breast hurt. Latching, when done wrong, can cause your nipples to hurt a lot! Although there are nipple balms available to relieve you from the pain, it might become an excuse to postpone sex with your partner.
- Take a look at your medications. Some women, especially those taking antidepressants or certain contraceptives, might experience low libido as a side effect of their prescribed medicines.
What Can I Do About It?
Finding your normal libido will take time, but it will surely come back. Your progesterone and estrogen, which are the ones responsible for your menstrual cycle, will increase over time. How long it takes to get the sex drive going may differ from one woman to another. It considers a few factors like how much you breastfeed, if you’re using formula milk, or if you’re weaning your baby.
By the time you start ovulating again, you’ll feel an increase in your libido. You should also expect them to fully return once you weaning the baby from breastmilk. However, if it hasn’t gone back in a long while, it might be time to go to your doctor to check up on your hormone levels.
Talking to Your Partner About Sex
As overwhelming and exciting this new period of your lives can be, it’s still very important to keep your communications open with your partner. Sex can be a tricky subject to talk about, but you should be aware of how you’re both feeling so you can help each other get back on the intimacy. Prioritize being a team and work together so you can reconnect and engage intimately again. Here’s what you should remember:
- Be open and honest. Tell each other how you feel at the moment and share if you have any concerns or insecurities.
- Talk about what you want. Pleasure varies from person to person and it’s important you both know how you can please each other.
- Respect how you feel. There will be days where you wouldn’t want to have sex, and that should be fine. Respect what your body tells you and be honest with your partner.
Intimacy also means so much more than just sex. Couples can show their love and affection in other lovingly acts. Try out these techniques for yourself:
- Bonding with each other. You and your partner should allocate time for you to spend time together.
- Show your affection through hugs and kisses. Simple physical acts like these can help you feel more connected and can spark your love and passion for one another.
- Care for each other. Couples need to be considerate with each other. Are you tired of holding and taking care of your baby? Let your husband cradle them for the meantime so you can take some space. These acts alone can make you feel loved and cared for.
- Value yourself as well. In these stressful times, it’s also important to take some “me-time”. Don’t let yourself go! Incorporate your old routine little by little. Do activities that you enjoy, like exercising, as this can help you stimulate both your mental and sexual health.
The Takeaway…
Having a new baby might not make things in the bedroom as exciting as it used to be. Although it may seem like something to worry about, a low sex drive is very common for couples post-birth. The hormones that promote breastfeeding and the stresses of being a parent can both contribute to lowering your libido.
Naturally, your sex drive will be back over time. However, it’s still best to keep your communications open and work together through the struggles of becoming new parents with your partner. Be honest, be vocal about what you want, and show respect for one another. Also, try to express your intimacy in other loving and affectionate ways. In time, you’d be able to spice up your sex life once again.
